Have to Try.

The days seem harder, yet easier.

   Sorry if it's annoying but it's true. The days seem easier, learning to live with pain. Today was a happier day, until the break down came along. Being in the house makes you have time to think, without things to distract you. When that's what you need most, is just a simple distraction, to feel better. Yes, people care, alot. But no matter what people tell you, you just keep blaming yourself, and wondering so many different things. What did you do to deserve something like this? Of course, it's needed to become stronger. But not even having you as a friend hurts a lot.

   Do you ever wanna go back in time? Of course, everyone does at some point of time.

   You just got to tell yourself, get over it. There is no point in waiting around for something that may never happen, even though it's all you ever wanted. If something is meant to happen, it will happen. Don't waist your time waiting, because when you most unexpect it may happen.

   I'm not gonna wait, even though at that moment, I would take you back in a second. But it's not what you want. I have got to except that and move on.
I will have my days where I sit and cry. There are my friends that will help me throughout the days where I'm crying my eyes out.
I will always blame myself, even though so many people tell me it's not my fault, I will continue to blame. I had to have done something to deserve this.
I hope you know that you have made me stronger. Made me realize that I should never give my heart fully to someone ever again, until the day I say 'I do'.

   Dammit, don't you hate it when you can't stop your brain from thinking about so many damn things. It's hard to deal with this even though you are telling yourself that you can get through this. You need to try and be happy again, even though it is so damn hard.

Not loving you is harder then you know. But I have to try, even though I don't think it's not gonna happen no matter how hard I try.


"What can you do when your good isn't good enough, when all that you touch tumbles down." - Get it Right by Glee.